TweetMy brother, i know your pain. I have been on the front line of divorce for almost a year now. Ive tried many diff combos od antidepressant. And in my opinion, they suck. Not al all sayin they cant help you, just relaying personal experiences. They seemed to cause some relief in some areas but hindered others , like sexual function. Now when your trying to make marriage work, seems stupid( to me) to hinder such an important life matter..welbutrin may hel. Its not an ssri whuch inhibits sexual function but can enhance it. Unfortunately this isca hit or miss situation....trial and error, see what helps. Some crap makes you feel ill, like for me, buspar. Work closely with the docto, listen to your body, and above all else do what feeks right...counseling and natural remedies are my first suggestion.....its a difficult road and if you need anything, help, to talk. ..pm me man..i seriousl. ...all bull aside , no what your going through

TweetHope things work out for you bro. There are times in life when depression can set in, no doubt. I went through that a few years ago after some hard times and I took anti depressants for a short period of time. Did they help? Man, I dont know. I was so down that I am not so sure. I think they can help some people, but the key for me was to have a goal to only use anti depressants for a short period of time and in the meantime, figure out why I was depressed and how to permanently change my mindset. I think it can be done without anti depressants, but if a person uses them, there's nothing wrong with that for a short period of time because depression sucks.
The scariest part about those drugs is that they always warn about possible suicidal thoughts as a side effect. If they are supposed to help with depression, why would they cause someone to be suicidal?
Good Luck

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Originally Posted by Dzone

Hope things work out for you bro. There are times in life when depression can set in, no doubt. I went through that a few years ago after some hard times and I took anti depressants for a short period of time. Did they help? Man, I dont know. I was so down that I am not so sure. I think they can help some people, but the key for me was to have a goal to only use anti depressants for a short period of time and in the meantime, figure out why I was depressed and how to permanently change my mindset. I think it can be done without anti depressants, but if a person uses them, there's nothing wrong with that for a short period of time because depression sucks.
The scariest part about those drugs is that they always warn about possible suicidal thoughts as a side effect. If they are supposed to help with depression, why would they cause someone to be suicidal?
Good Luck

Very important fact..not to mention if u suddenly stop taking them all hell breaks loose.....we are here fir u brother..support is really important

TweetThanks for all of your thoughts and comments.

I do think I have an imbalance. My whole life I have been moody. I have some mental illness in my family, including one of my half brothers.

I get anxiety easily as well. I would say social anxiety. One on one or when I am in my element (gym) I am confident and good to go. But throw me in a group of strangers and I freeze up and want to get out asap.

I have never considered myself depressed. Sure we all get depressed every now and again but I don't feel constantly depressed.

The therapist thinks an antiD would be helpful with me since I have insomnia, mood changes and blow ups, said it would help with anxiety as well.

In terms of my marriage I think I am scared more about the unknown, being by myself, not seeing my daughter as much, financially would be harder, etc.

I do love my wife but we are very different people and honestly her family gets on my nerves and we see them a lot. I think if my daughter wasn't in the picture I would be more okay with the divorce.

Moving forward regardless if we stay together or go our separate ways I do believe I need to be on something to help balance my mood out. Little things just piss me off and aggrevate me. A smartass comment by someone will eat me up where as some people just let it roll off their shoulder and move on. If I try and communicate I tend to blow up especially if I have been holding a lot of stuff in.

Also my wife one time threw a paper towel behind the front porch hedges because she was to lazy to walk a few feet and throw it in the garbage. This drove me crazy and I started screaming at her.

Last fight was over some thawed meat. It had been in the freezer to long and we had to throw it out. My wife is constantly buying crap without checking the freezer or pantry and we end up throwing away food. I am a frugal individual and this is a big deal to me and she knows it is but she just stays the same.

Also she is so unorganized in comparison to me and my family and that drives me crazy.

Again sometimes I think I am just to anal and need to get over stuff and maybe I do need some anti-d or medication. Then other times I think no I am right and she needs to change her way....of course I know that wont happen.

Anyways that is where I am. Thanks again for the comments and feedback. It helps a lot.

TweetThere comes a time, I believe, in our marriage where we have to "accept" people for who they are and not expect change. People will only change if THEY want to. We all have little things that drive each other crazy. As soon as one stops expecting the other to change. things get better for that person no matter where they may be in their life.

You feel "comfort" at the gym cause it is a place you go to where you distress and do what you like. the best way to deal with any fear, like a social situation is to do exactly that. take baby steps and go to a place that you are not so comfortable in. If it is even for a moment, it will be progress and you will feel good about it.

The important thing I see when I read your thoughts is that you are aware of things and that is a great step towards success. I am a big over thinker of everything and it is good and bad sometimes. Don't overthink, just try to go with the flow. easier said than done but we can all do what we put our minds too

Tweeti have ptsd and part of that is depression, i have been on a lot of meds, some made things worse, now i am on lexapro and mirtazapine and have been for years. it can help if they find the right mix for you. i feel your pain, i went thru about 9 yrs of hell. divorce,living in a r.v. living with my sister,ugh to long a story to bore you with, just don't give up the fight it will get better.

TweetThe story of Rake:

Rake fell backward off a ladder in 1996 and suffered huge hematoma between his skull and brain. USC Head Injury Hospital in San Diego put him in the "Go to Die" room. All 3 other patients died within 3 days and he finally convinced his Dr. to release him to home. I'm no nurse and we had some very close to death calls: after 2 yrs he went to work. but finally one day he came home to tell me the pain was so bad he wanted to drive off the 805 bridge. I found a local DR. we paid cash to since we had NO insurance and worked on a trial and error basis. Rake ended up on 2 narcotics every 4 hours , Tegretol an anti-seizure med along with Prozac (anti-depressant) and Amitriptylin so he could sleep. Over $250 each month. BUT we were somewhat able to run our business again and have a normal life. 5 years later we moved to Vegas and ended up with a great DR who substituted Methadone for the narcotics he was on and it worked out great but his Doc told him to forget about getting off the anti-depressants ever. Fast forward 5 yrs he is off all Prescription meds except the Aitriptylin for sleep.

Since then we went through my menopause crazy for 18 months and a bit of mid life crisis insecurity on Rake's part. Moral to the story:

You really do love your wives and they love you too! Life gets in the way and we all get a bit 'Imbalanced" especially during Mid-Life.

I read a book during my crazy year that really helped me and I will send it to anyone who thinks it may help any woman in their life. Just PM
~Trixie~

Tweetthey gave me the same stuff to sleep trix and it put me down like a tranqulized buffalo. i slept for 3days haha. the Amitriptylin is an anti d med and used for other things as well. for what it does to me i would imagine you wouldnt have any issues with depression because all i did was sleep and barely remember anything if i have to take it

TweetI take lexapro for ptsd. But meds will only help, they wont cure anything, it probably wont help immediately either just to be honest. You will have to work on what ever you want.

Pick a good doctor too or they tend to just give you anything you will agree to take.

Tweetwellbutrin, lamictal, cymbalta, seroquel, klonopin,

TweetI have been on lexapro for over 10 yrs now. I was an evil SOB. It has helped me. I suffer from depression and anxiety. My son was small and he drew a pic of a fire breathing dragon and said that is you daddy. My wife and I was going through hell and was close to being finished. It really helps me think before I speak and and calms me down. Now they had to adjust my dosage to get me right. But once that was done It really helped. Now my wife and I have been married for 26 yrs now and we have our little issues from time to time but I don't blow up and run off at the mouth I'm able to keep calm and talk like Im supposed to. It is worth going to see a good doc and getting on something.

Tweetthe low does of Sertraline has done wonders for me and my ptsd and anxiety. Think I will be on it for the longterm. You can always go the herbal route and try St Johns Wort as it has been proven to be helpful to but just because it is herbal it still has the same affects and can also give side effects

TweetI WOULDNT DO IT IF IT WERE ME...MY MOM TAKES THEM TO DEAL WITH THE ISSUES OF LOSING MY LITTLE BROTHER....BUT, THAT WAS 17 YEARS AGO. SHES A TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSON NOW. FOR THE WORSE! ALWAYS COMPLAINING, ALWAYS UPSET, THE WHOLE FAMILY HAS HAD IT WITH HER AND THE MEDS. I WISH SHE COULD GET OFF THEM COMPLETELY AND DEAL WITH THINGS.

START HONORING MY BROTHERS LIFE HE HAD INSTEAD OF MOURNING HIS DEATH FOR 17 FREAKING YEARS...
DONT GET ME STARTED!