That coworker who belittles you in front of your boss or makes backhanded comments at you during meetings isn't just an annoying jerk; he may be a real narcissist. And, while his actions are evidence enough, there's an even easier way to find out for sure: Ask. According to a study from Ohio State University, narcissists self-identify as being narcissistic.

"People who are narcissists are almost proud of the fact," say Brad Bushman, PhD, professor of communication and psychology at The Ohio State University. "You can ask them directly because they don't see narcissism as a negative quality—they believe they are superior to other people and are fine with saying that publicly."
Of course, it may not always be easy (or even safe) to flat-out ask. Joe Navarro, former FBI special agent and author of Dangerous Personalities explains the difference between someone who is a little vain versus a true narcissist. "Narcissistic personalities care only for themselves, their needs, and their priorities," he says. "While you and I appreciate attention, the narcissist craves it and manipulates people and situations to get it."

The Narcissist in the Office
"Whether they're backstabbing you out of a promotion, belittling you in a meeting, or butting in line at the checkout, these personalities don't care if they inconvenience, intimidate, or infuriate you in their quest to take care of Number One—themselves," says Navarro.
The characteristic behavior of a narcissistic coworker or boss includes childish, egocentric, and angry behavior, he adds. "Every time I hear of a boss, manager, coach, teacher, or coworker who snaps, barks, yells, screams, throws things, or bullies, I know we're dealing with a narcissistic personality."

Plus, because they feel entitled, they may not work as hard, but they're not afraid to take the credit. Navarro details one case in which a computer systems administrator had taken over the company's computer. "A review of his communications over the years with his superiors revealed him repeatedly bragging about how important he was and how 'I did' this or 'I did' that. He would often speak of or even insist that these were 'my systems,' 'my network,' 'my codes,' 'my protocols.' They weren't his, of course—he was an employee—but his narcissism was evident in his writings.

How to Protect Yourself
"Many of us have been taught to 'forgive and forget,' especially with family and friends," says Navarro. "The narcissistic personality is counting on you to do that. Because when this person hurts you again and you're sitting there feeling startled, speechless, or defeated, the narcissist is feeling elevated, superior, and fulfilled."

Navarro explains that a narcissist's power comes from his or her ability to wear you down, so distance is your best defense. "Try to distance yourself from these individuals as much as possible," he suggests. "I know that sometimes this isn't easy to do for a variety of valid reasons. In those cases, try to set boundaries for what is permissible or acceptable, but don't be surprised when these boundaries are ignored and the offensive behaviors are repeated."

He also recommends cataloging unacceptable incidences. "I had a boss who was verbally abusive to everyone below him," he says. Navarro's solution: Carry a personal notebook during every interaction. "As soon as he started yelling, I would begin to write. Soon he stopped, because he knew I was writing down what he said and how he said it."

This applies to other abusive behaviors as well. "Don't ever assume that police or law enforcement records will be enough," he says. "They won't; we have a responsibility in building a case, also."