Re: parents come on in
I think you handled right. I have a 16 you and have been through the very same scenario. As a father trying to raise my boys to be MEN. It is our job to make the tuff decisions that they won't like now, but will look back at later in life and appreciate. I have been very lucky that my 2 boys have been good. They are very respectful when at others homes and to adults in general. My 16 you son just told my wife and I last night that the reason he doesn't hang out with more of his friends is because the always want to drink and some smoke pot and he doesn't. I asked he doesn't just hangout and not drink. Just cause they are don't mean you have to. Instead of dealing with the pier pressure, he just doesn't go out. Of course it's my fault because he knows I will kick his ass and ground him if he does. I told him no, I just won't let you drive. He just received the letter from the state so he can get his license, but I have told him he can't get it till he proves I can trust him and he is responsible enough to have it. He got drunk with some friends last New years eve. and also admitted to trying pot once. He was very honest about it which I was happy about, but not happy he did it. So he has been building that trust back. I told him trust is earned not owed. He wad it and lost it twice. After the 3rd time it's too late. He has been very good at working to get it back and last nights conversation helped a bunch. I would explain to your son the reasons you said no, and what he can do next time for you to say no. Then give him just enough rope to see how he does. Explain that trust is very easy to loose, but very hard to get back. If he wants to get to do these types of things, tell him he has your trust and it's his to loose. I also keep a very open relationship with my sons. there is not much that is taboo for us to talk about. I joke and talk with my boys about everything and anything. Always have. This way they are not embarrassed to talk to my or my wife about anything. After coaching youth football for 11 years and dealing with all those boys along with mine. I have learned that when they truly believe they have earned your trust, they more times than not, do not want to loose it. Hope this helps brother. It sounds to me like you made the right choice. Now just make sure to communicate why and what you expect. Good luck.
“To keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.”
― Buddha