TweetThe Twinkie apocalypse is upon us

turalNews) Dear fellow junk food aficionados: A great chapter of American history is coming to an end. The Texas-based Hostess company, the producer of Twinkies, Ho Ho's and other fine pastries, has been gutted by a union dispute and is closing its doors for good. A total of 18,500 people will lose their jobs, but even more catastrophically, we will no longer have Twinkies!

Hostess Brands Inc. today announced that it is winding down operations and has filed a motion with the U.S. Bankruptcy Court seeking permission to close its business and sell its assets, including its iconic brands and facilities. Bakery operations have been suspended at all plants, says a statement on the Hostess Brands website.

This is devastating news for America.

It means we can no longer sit around our couches as happy slobs, eating off one end of a Twinkie and sucking the sugary goodness out of it like a human junk food suction machine.

It means we can no longer eat away our emotional pain on a lonely Friday night through the "self medication" of three boxes of chocolate creamy Ho Ho's.

It means the nationwide supply of Ding Dongs is now limited to the knuckleheads running things in Washington D.C. (And you can't eat them, unfortunately.)

Twinkies flying off the shelves as Americans prepare for the junk food apocalypse

In response to the news that Hostess is shutting down all operations, many Americans have found the strength to somehow get off their couches and march out to their local Wal-Marts and grocery stores where they are clearing the shelves of all Hostess products.

This brave action of "junk food preparedness" is the last stage before the coming "Twinkie apocalypse."

"I got the last Chocolate Donettes from the Shell in Oak Park..." wrote junk food fan Rani Morrison on her Facebook page. "Walgreens by my job are already out," she added.

Another junk food revolutionary wrote, "I just cleaned out the Dominick's in Bartlett."

Forget about food, water, ammo and emergency first aid: Hurry and buy some Twinkies to save your souls while you still can! Without Hostess Twinkies, what is there worth living for anyway?

The Twinkie Rescue Executive Order

Just as Hostess is closing, the CDC is reporting that diabetes rates have doubled across 18 U.S. states. It would be terribly, terribly sad to see this record-setting race to runaway disease come to an end, which is why I am going to petition the White House to issue a "Twinkie Rescue Executive Order."

This executive order would ask the federal government to turn the Hostess factory into a FEMA camp, then round up all union workers at gunpoint, "detain" them indefinitely under the NDAA and force them into hard labor producing Hostess / FEMA Twinkies for the good of America.

Twinkies should then be distributed to all Americans under a new federal nutrition program. All emergency FEMA foods should be replaced with Twinkies, and school lunch programs across America should be replaced with Twinkie lunches.

It is time to restore America's cuisine greatness! Say YES to the Twinkie Rescue Executive Order! Say YES to the government's taking charge of Hostess and turning it into a prison camp production system. Say YES to happiness and abundance for all! And say YES to a hundred more years of diabetes and Big Pharma medications that destroy our livers and bankrupt our families! YES! YES! YES!

We are Americans! We have the God-given right to suck Twinkies! And let no man stand in our way or we will drool on them.

Tweet18,000 jobs lost because the union couldn't come to an agreement! Im sure all those workers feel happy right now.

TweetThis morning, Hostess Brands, the maker of such staples as Wonder Bread and Twinkies, announced that they would be liquidating their operations, laying off all of their workers, and going out of business. The issues at Hostess have been decades in the making, a failure to innovate, to improve manufacturing methodology, and a regular problem of conflict between management and workers.

In 2004, the company entered bankruptcy with approximately $450 million in debt. It emerged after investment from Ripplewood Holdings. Today, it now stands at just shy of $1 billion in debt, despite additional investment by two more firms, Silver Point and Monarch. How did this happen?

These firms borrowed money to invest, which then they transferred that debt to the firm, simple. In effect, there never was any investment, only more debt added.





To emerge from bankruptcy, the companies unions agreed to large concessions which these vulture capitalists demanded, cutting thousands of jobs, transferring benefits or cutting benefits entirely. The companies also agreed to modernize the factories, which were running at a loss due to the age of the equipment, some of which dated to the 1930s. The investments from Silver Point and Monarch were to go towards this modernization. Instead the company found itself saddled with even more debt. To add to the company’s woes, the holding companies stopped supporting the retirement fund, raiding it for easy cash to extract from the firm. The current estimates put the liabilities of this fund at over $2 billion currently.

In order to “save” the firm, the operators of the company turned to the unions, which had already surrendered huge concessions just a few years back to turn the company around, and demanded an across the board slash, an additional 31%, along with eliminating the retirement and benefits entirely. It was a bridge too far. The union went on strike, and now the company has declared it will be liquidated.

Of course the right-wing media is quick to blame the unions, but in the end the union members would have lost more if they had capitulated to the vulture capitalists demands. By this move, they can hope to salvage the retirement plan, while if they’d given in they would have lost it all. $2 billion is a lot of money to just “give away” in negotiations. Of course the unions were expected to surrender despite the fact that the management company was asking the bankruptcy court to give their outgoing CEO up to $5.5 million. All of this was in addition to the 80% raises the executives were being treated to.

Then there were company payments to the Teamsters Union for managing the retirement funds, insurance, etc, agreed upon in the earlier bankruptcy proceedings. The company failed to pay for those either, adding an additional $100 million to the pile of bad debt the firm has all to extract as much wealth out of the firm as possible. This cost will, if not resolved during the liquidation, be spread to other companies the Teamsters operates with, as part of the contracts. The Hostess liquidation now will impact not only their direct employees, but hundreds of other firms.

For those who not grasp how these firms operate, here is former Secretary of Labor Robert Reich explaining it:

TweetI won't be sad the products are gone but sad for all the jobs lost...

TweetMore unemployed people

Tweetlost goodies and more lost jobs. wtf? now what will tempt me when i diet and what will i do without that twinkie on a stick while doing cardio?

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Originally Posted by guns01

lost goodies and more lost jobs. wtf? now what will tempt me when i diet and what will i do without that twinkie on a stick while doing cardio?

And deep fried.

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Originally Posted by suprfast

And deep fried.

o man i forgot about that. that is not cool at all

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TweetLittle Debbies are better than hostess anyway.

Tweetyes, this is so very sad....more so for the people who will lose their job in this rough time in the economy.

its unfortunate that this union would rather shut the doors than make a new deal. Cutting of it's nose to spite it's face.

Tweetjoe boden did it again that ****ing a whole, not only gear but twinkies.

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Originally Posted by hoyle21

This morning, Hostess Brands, the maker of such staples as Wonder Bread and Twinkies, announced that they would be liquidating their operations, laying off all of their workers, and going out of business. The issues at Hostess have been decades in the making, a failure to innovate, to improve manufacturing methodology, and a regular problem of conflict between management and workers.

In 2004, the company entered bankruptcy with approximately $450 million in debt. It emerged after investment from Ripplewood Holdings. Today, it now stands at just shy of $1 billion in debt, despite additional investment by two more firms, Silver Point and Monarch. How did this happen?

These firms borrowed money to invest, which then they transferred that debt to the firm, simple. In effect, there never was any investment, only more debt added.





To emerge from bankruptcy, the companies unions agreed to large concessions which these vulture capitalists demanded, cutting thousands of jobs, transferring benefits or cutting benefits entirely. The companies also agreed to modernize the factories, which were running at a loss due to the age of the equipment, some of which dated to the 1930s. The investments from Silver Point and Monarch were to go towards this modernization. Instead the company found itself saddled with even more debt. To add to the company’s woes, the holding companies stopped supporting the retirement fund, raiding it for easy cash to extract from the firm. The current estimates put the liabilities of this fund at over $2 billion currently.

In order to “save” the firm, the operators of the company turned to the unions, which had already surrendered huge concessions just a few years back to turn the company around, and demanded an across the board slash, an additional 31%, along with eliminating the retirement and benefits entirely. It was a bridge too far. The union went on strike, and now the company has declared it will be liquidated.

Of course the right-wing media is quick to blame the unions, but in the end the union members would have lost more if they had capitulated to the vulture capitalists demands. By this move, they can hope to salvage the retirement plan, while if they’d given in they would have lost it all. $2 billion is a lot of money to just “give away” in negotiations. Of course the unions were expected to surrender despite the fact that the management company was asking the bankruptcy court to give their outgoing CEO up to $5.5 million. All of this was in addition to the 80% raises the executives were being treated to.

Then there were company payments to the Teamsters Union for managing the retirement funds, insurance, etc, agreed upon in the earlier bankruptcy proceedings. The company failed to pay for those either, adding an additional $100 million to the pile of bad debt the firm has all to extract as much wealth out of the firm as possible. This cost will, if not resolved during the liquidation, be spread to other companies the Teamsters operates with, as part of the contracts. The Hostess liquidation now will impact not only their direct employees, but hundreds of other firms.

For those who not grasp how these firms operate, here is former Secretary of Labor Robert Reich explaining it:

great post brother, its amazing that the ceo's cant raise the cost of a twinkie 20 cents and save 18000 jobs but they have no problems blaming unions. how much do you think a cupcake maker makes an hour? im sure its not enough to ruin a company. its obviously poor management