Hey Everyone

I am coming on here to request some advice from you because I feel like I can trust you guys and you are all a good group of people.

A little background info. I have been married to my wife for 4 years. We first got married at the court house to help with taxes, then we had our offical wedding in 2010. We first met in 2007 and she was pregnant within the first month of dating. We were both really happy that she was since we had such strong feelings for each other. Our daughter is now 4 years old and the love of my life.

Here is where I need advice.
My wife for the past 1-2 years I want to say has just been so angry about everything lately. If she doesn't get what she wants right then and there it is a living hell to deal with until she gets her way then its fine until the next day where it starts all over again. No matter what I do its not good enough. Let me say that not only do I go to work 40 hrs a week, but then i come home and cook since she can't/wont cook. I do the dishes at least twice a day which i hate doing but she isnt willing to help unless we are having company over. I do all the laundry, she wont do any of it. When i get home from work she goes to work and she works about 24 hrs a week. My wife becomes even more angry/aggressive when she drinks and she doenst drink that much, maybe some wine at work or go get hammered on a saturday night. Something very stressful to deal with again since you cannot reason with a drunk person espically if they are angry.

I want to use tonight as an example of what i had to deal with.

Everything was fine during the day, we talk on the phone for awhile while i'm at work. I go to the gym, then when i'm done i give her a call and she is freaking out about how we don't have a baby sitter for saturday because i will be out of town and she has to work. I offered to have my dad help in which she immediately declind and said that she doenst want him watching my daughter becasue some of the stuff that went down when my mom was alive. he is in a much better place now that she is gone. my wife believes that he would hurt my daughter in some way and i actually took offense to that since there is no way he would do such a thing. we are now starting to have him back in our life since my mom is gone and he has been helping us. I tried to call her over 30 times to get this figured out because i don't like problems and would like to deal with them quickly. she ignored every one of my calls, when i got home so she could leave it was nothing but swearing on her part and still no resolution.

Another thing.

My mom had some clinical mental illness which definitely showed during our wedding and before with crazy emails and voice mails and she even tried to crash our wedding. That negativily affected our relationship since she kept saying to me that i was going to turn out like that. My mom ended up commiting suicide last year in March and not to say this in a bad way, it has been kind of a releif for us as the negativity wasnt there anymore. Now i never forgave my mom for that since it was such a cowardly thing to do i felt.

I can't trust my wife. she does a lot of sneaky things behind my back, and me being in the IT field i have ways of knowing things about her that she doenst think i know. and if i ever try and talk about things with her, she immediately becomes defensive and gets mad and then wont talk to me, and that could last all day. i have no one to talk to about this because i don't want people that i know in real life to think there are problems as people become judgemental. i really don't think i can put up with much more of this anger and hostility towards me. i ask her if she loves me and she says she does but then why the **** is she acting like this? I try to do everything i can to make her happy. she is very materialistic, i bought her some $450 boots recently, she is driving a car that has a payment of $600 a month, i pay her cell phone bill, i pay all the bills at home. the only thing she wants to do is go shopping and if she cant have what she wants its world war 3. Since i pay for her car and rent and all that i can't afford to move out on my own and continue to pay for her to live. We have a daughter together and i don't want to put her through any of this. she is just a kid and she should be having fun and not having to worry about adult things.

i don't know what to do.

btw i'm leaving tomorrow morning to go to Miami beach with my boys to let loose, i just know i'm going to hear from her about something else negative which will probably give me more anxiety which i'm trying to get rid of.