Just thought I'd drop in an give an update.

So I stopped training but have been still trying to eat at least half way decent just doing a little bit too much snacking and a too much drinking. I had to put both of my dogs down recently and it really sent me into a depression, those dogs were quite literally my best friends. I have kind of recovered a bit but still struggling mentally but really trying to push my way through it instead of fall into old habits. My best friend from my military times came and stayed with me for a few days recently and that was the pick me up I really needed, I was really not doing good before that.

That being said for the first time in years I have actually kept the weight off. I am sitting around 260-264 and floating around that area with my lowest weight being 258. my highest was about 296 so I'm about 30-35lbs down and holding. SO I'm very thankful I didn't immediately rebound and eat shit again for once.

I still am eating decent and holding myself to that but forcing myself to train has been very difficult. So that's my goal now, keep eating the way I am now but try to be a little more consistent but my focus is just forcing myself to actually work out.

I am less focused on the scale number now and more how my body physically looks. Ideally I would like to lose another 20-30lbs and get much leaner and harden up.

I'm still here, still trying and still going to achieve my goals this time, just a few road bumps and I'm sure there will be a few more. The best ive been in years though.

I want to hop back on a cycle, I think it will be the boost I need but all the gear I have left is a few years old a this point, tried to pin the test a few times and it just knots up and hurts like hell so probably time to renew my stash and get fresh gear.

Part of the reason I stopped the log is because FG has slowed down and I am not interested in going to other forums really, this place has always been home. Internet forums just ain't what they used to be and I hate change lol.