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IPL'S JOKES FOR THE DAY~
A Frenchman, an Italian, and a Texan were discussing lovemaking.
"Last night I made love to my wife three times," boasted the Frenchman. "She was in sheer ecstasy this morning."
"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "And this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man."
When the Texan remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"
"Once," he replied.
"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted.
"What did she say to you this morning?" asked the Italian.
"Don't stop," said the Texan.
_______________________________________
Q: What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A: A cherry float
Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: Sixty-eight -- at 69, you have to turn around.
Q: What's the difference between sin and shame?
A: It's a sin to put it in, but a shame to pull it out.
Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers?
A: One's a Goodyear; the other's a great year.
Q: What's the ultimate rejection?
A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
________________________________________
A lady is throwing a party where each guest shows up as their favorite emotion. A guest arrives dressed in green. "Envy!" she says, and lets him in.
A lady comes dressed in red. She says, "Anger!" and lets her in.
Two naked guys walk up to the front door. One guy is holding a bowl of pudding with his penis stuck in it, and the other guy has his penis in a hollowed-out pear.
"Wait a minute," she says to them. "This is supposed to be an emotion party!"
The first guy says, "Yeah, and I'm f**king dis-custard."
The second guy says, "And I'm deep in dis-pear."
_____________________________
A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress.
After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool.
The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder''s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point.
Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door.
He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?"
She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"
Stay Strong~~!!!
IPL
"Last night I made love to my wife three times," boasted the Frenchman. "She was in sheer ecstasy this morning."
"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "And this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man."
When the Texan remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"
"Once," he replied.
"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted.
"What did she say to you this morning?" asked the Italian.
"Don't stop," said the Texan.
_______________________________________
Q: What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A: A cherry float
Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: Sixty-eight -- at 69, you have to turn around.
Q: What's the difference between sin and shame?
A: It's a sin to put it in, but a shame to pull it out.
Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers?
A: One's a Goodyear; the other's a great year.
Q: What's the ultimate rejection?
A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
________________________________________
A lady is throwing a party where each guest shows up as their favorite emotion. A guest arrives dressed in green. "Envy!" she says, and lets him in.
A lady comes dressed in red. She says, "Anger!" and lets her in.
Two naked guys walk up to the front door. One guy is holding a bowl of pudding with his penis stuck in it, and the other guy has his penis in a hollowed-out pear.
"Wait a minute," she says to them. "This is supposed to be an emotion party!"
The first guy says, "Yeah, and I'm f**king dis-custard."
The second guy says, "And I'm deep in dis-pear."
_____________________________
A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress.
After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool.
The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder''s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point.
Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door.
He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?"
She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"
Stay Strong~~!!!
IPL