Real Medical Quotes LOL

[Dzone]

TweetMedical Quotes

The following quotes were taken from Electronic Medical Records dictated by physicians. They appeared in a column written by Richard Lederer, Ph.D., for the Journal of Court Reporting.
She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

The patient has no past history of suicides.

The patient refused an autopsy.

The patient states there is a burning pain in his penis which goes to his feet.

She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing. I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.

Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.

On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.

I will be happy to go into her GI system; she seems ready and anxious.

The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

Discharge status: Alive but without permission. The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.

The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.

Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.

[yamaha147]

TweetLOL

[Dzone]

TweetYea, I know, some of them are stupid but some are funny. Reminds me of the guy who is in the hospital and the doctor walks in and asks him "How was breakfast?" The dude says "It was good except I just cant get used to this Kentucky Jelly in the white tube, I put it on my toast and it tastes terrible"

[MrzDiva]

TweetLMAO !!