CHurch signs/Bulletins..LOL

[Dzone]

TweetGoofed-Up, Humorous Church Signs/Bulletins
Taken from Church Bulletins / Church Announcement signs...

These were so funny, I couldn't help but to pass them on!



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Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

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The Fasting &Prayer Conference includes meals.

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The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon
tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

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Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
nursery downstairs.

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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

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Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more
transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests
tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

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The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir
will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."

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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the
church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.

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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be
"What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of
several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park
across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All
ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S.
is done.

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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation
would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to
attend this tragedy.

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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.

Please use large double door at the side entrance.

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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign
slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours

[BABY1]

TweetThese are really funny! Thanks I needed the laughs!

[FUZO]

TweetOk dzone I had to hear my wife laugh at these goofy jokes,lol

[Dzone]

Tweet

Ok dzone I had to hear my wife laugh at these goofy jokes,lol

LOL...its hard for me to read those without laughing my head off...

[horsepwr]

TweetThat 'peacekeeper's conflict' reminds me of my procrastinator's meetings. We were supposed to have one yesterday. postponed...again...

[daved150]

Tweetthe "vripp;e children" made me actually LOL!! those are good