Federal government changing national emblem
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The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance....A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed!
They call you paranoid until the worst happens, and in the aftermath they will call you a hero.