I was injured at work today.

[jipped genes]

TweetAs many of you know I am a building official working for the Health Department. I was doing a standard inspection for a home with several special needs foster children. The foster parents are great people and do a big service for these kids no one wants.

I was making sure all their GFIs worked, smoke alarms had good batteries, structure was habitable ect.

A little fella about 3-4 years old with downs syndrome was following me around with a flashlight (i use a light to check HVAC, fuse box ect so he was mimicking me)

I finished my inspection and gave the mom a copy of my paperwork. She gave me a hug and said see you next time (i have done their inspection 7 years now)

the little boy who was shadowing me as I worked came under my clipboard to give me a hug. before i knew it my crotch was being embraced by this little angel as i squirmed to a less creepy position to hug him back.

ZAP! pain flared through my body like a jolt from a tazer. HE WAS BITING DOWN! ON MY GENTLEMAN SAUSAGE! OH my God I let out a garbled yelp and backed away as "mom" grabbed the boy. she pulled and I shit you not his body was damn near horizontal between us! his small sharp teeth clamped onto "ole thunder" through my jeans.

She reached her finger into his mouth and he let go sacrificing her index finger for my damaged "one eyed wonder worm"

I went to my knees in shock, FEAR and pain. seriously I thought my custard cannon was severed.

I excused myself to her bathroom to find he had sandwiched the tip of my beef probe with the area behind the head smashing the helmet between his capable gleaming white little chompers. The in between was blueish and there was a drop of blood coming out of the pee hole.

I stumbled to my truck, called my boss who met me at the E.R. (how embarrassing to tell the doctor a little boy bit my trouser trout.)

I will heal. My "bone ranger" will heal, it is sore as *uck! hurts to pee. My bosses boss showed at the E.R. as I came out he told me to take the rest of the day off and tomorrow as well.

damn..................damn.................that's all I got folks, i don't hold the kid or his fosters responsible. shit happens

[animal87]

TweetDamn seriously??

[whitetail]

TweetOmg, don't even know what to type...sorry that happened bro, crazy!

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2

[DaddyDawg]

TweetLet me 1st say I'm sorry to hear your junk got chomped and hope everything's ok. Now... That has to be the funniest shit I have read in a long long time. I have tears running down my cheeks and can't stop laughing. Again, I REALLY and sorry it happened, but must say. You have a way with words. LMFAO

[president]

Tweetjust reading that i felt some pain lol

[Dieseljimmy]

TweetLmao

I have a neighbor kid that's a hugger but she's like 4 and always hugs my legs with her face right on my cawk. It's very uncomfortable and the parents seem to take no notice.

Thankfully she has never bitten down.

[MrzDiva]

Tweet

With all the colorful references to your pecker its hard to know if you're serious or not.LOL.

Only reason why I'm laughing so much.

I'm sorry for your pain Jipped I hope your gentleman sausage, ole thunder, one eyed wonder worm, custard cannon, beef probe, pee hole, trouser trout, bone ranger feel better .. lol...

[TheChosen1]

TweetThe least that his mama could do is kiss the boo boo for you.

[6p6]

Tweet

The least that his mama could do is kiss the boo boo for you.

Amen

[hicktown]

TweetLOL that was so funny the way you wrote that i printed it out and read it to the family@!


wtf was that kid doing, i mean something had to prompt him to take a bite..

[Gunner16]

TweetI hope it was a joke but I'm thinking it wasn't holy shit bro bad luck on that one.

[wutlisstrice]

TweetROFLMAO,.dude i'm no doctor so I have to laught first,no I could see you at the doctor's well doc I got bit by a special needs kid,doctor....uh huh,right,ok then,hope it's you get better soon

[MOUNTAIN-MAN]

Tweetwow that sucks

[jipped genes]

Tweet

Lmao

I have a neighbor kid that's a hugger but she's like 4 and always hugs my legs with her face right on my cawk. It's very uncomfortable and the parents seem to take no notice.

Thankfully she has never bitten down.

i know. it's crazy. my nephew is a crotch hugger. his parents and my mom will hug back when he nestles in their nether regions. I am too creeped out. i stick out my knee when he comes in. i was caught off guard with this guy.

i don;t know how but last night a lawyer got my # and called me telling me i should sue.

how the hell am i going to sue a couple that takes in unwanted special needs kids some of whom bite but not maliciously. why do kids bite anyway. my son used to bite and grew out of that phase,

[guage]

Tweetthat was funny as hell.. they way you wrote it was great, I too wouldn't sue but prolly would wear a cup If I ever had to reinspect. the peter will heal in no time .

has the family contacted you at all if only to check that all your parts are still in good working order?