well i knew it would happen, my gf had the talk with me. tonight on the phone we were talking about our futures and after some other talks about sauce she said she had something to run by me. well it was basically. why are you trying to make your body look good on the outside and hurting it on the inside. like enlarged heart from steroids, kidney and liver functions, and prostate enlargement. she is really worried that if i stay on for a while that when im 50, if we are still together that is, that i will be wishing when i was younger that i wouldnt have done steroids. i understand exactly what she is saying. and i am really confused. i stepped back and always said i dont want to live to 75 but seriously, my dad is going to be 54 and he is still active and everything. i dont want to have illnesses that keep me from being active when im 50. heart disease is an illness that runs in my family also. my dad and uncle have both had heart attacks, and no one runs more than my uncle, we some do but he runs 10 miles everymorning and a few in the evening. my grandpa died of cancer of the stomach and had other problems i didnt know about.
i guess im just real worried about if i keep doing cycles that i will really mess up myself later down the road.

this cycle has already given me the results i wanted, people notice im bigger and im 210 lbs solid, i never thought i would be over 190 lbs unless i was fat, i was always the skinniest kid.

anything will help guys, i guess im just a little paranoid thinking that i can harm myself and not be able to watch my children grow, that is once i have some.
thanks. JC